What Landon said to me that once when I made my son cry has stuck with me like a mantra ever since. Am I having a problem with a fellow human being? It's that voice. As my kid responding poorly to me? It's that voice.  It's my weapon of choice, and it was my father's weapon as well.

Does that mean I'm condemned to use it? No. Does that mean I'm condemned to wrestle with it for the rest to my life? Probably. Have my children already be shaped by it? Absolutely.

The video below catches me in a moment of having to deal with this ongoing wrestling match. I'd like the issue to be over and done with, but it's not––that's why it's part of this path. This little space I've carved in the labyrinth's stone for the moments when I feel like hiding in problems I can't solve. 

1. HE NEVER (HAD TO) HIT ME
2. LOSING MY SHIT ON A REGULAR BASIS
3. RELIVING THE SWEAR WORDS MOMENT
4. ON EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE
5. GENTLING MY VOICE