After my divorce––and yes, I did wait until it was official because I did love my first wife––I fucked who I could for a while. And I discovered that women liked it in a way that my ex did not, which opened up entirely new avenues of self-expression for me. I never got into sport fucking or pickup artistry beacause I had severe emotional needs. I wouldn't screw just anybody, and I never trolled the bars. It had to be a woman I could talk to, hang out with, be seen in public with. But other than that, the bar wasn't too high.

I guess by the standards of what we call "bro" culture, I was scoring. Unfortunately I went through this phase in my late twenties to mid-thirties, instead of in my high school and college years when most guys do. The stakes of the dating game are much higher at that age, and I might have led a few women on. But most of them hit the sack with me for the same reason I hit it with them: we threw ourselves bravely into the pit of the sensual. 

I wonder how many of them secretly loathed themselves, or acted out of self-destructive impulses. Many, I suspect. Why else would they be drawn to a guy like me?