How to discipline misbehaving children is maybe the toughest question for parents. For me it gets doubly complicated because of my anger management issues, and the threat of my tactics leaking forward to the next generation.

And it really is a generational thing. Some parents, in the name of "old fashioned discipline," whack their kids. What percentage of them were whacked themselves? Close to 100%, I'll bet. Having been whacked myself I don't believe in it. Whacking your kids ripples through the generation like alcoholism. Sometimes, when the kids do something I would've gotten whacked for as a child, I say:

"The reason I don't hit my children is because I don't want anybody hitting my grandchildren."

A few times I've also said "You should be glad that I'm not the kind of father who hits his kids, because that would be something you'd get hit for." Which sounds more threatening, and is vastly less preferable to me. I'm by no means a hitter, but I'm also not a complete saint. I've swatted each of my kids on the butt once or twice, symbolically. And a few times, in the heat of a pissed-off moment, I've been known to flick my middle finger against their shoulder or chest. 

Not proud of that behavior, for sure. Not sure where I picked it up, though as I write this I remember an incident with my father and wonder if he'd done it to me. Not a hard flick, just enough to sting. Just enough to let you know that you've done something wrong, and that somebody is watching. 

In truth, I have no clear idea of how a father should properly discipline his children. I have to learn this by trial and error, like so many things. I'm aware that there are some who believe that children shouldn't be disciplined at all, but... well, I think they're not living in reality. 

It's our responsibility and privilege to guide our children, and sometimes that guiding requires effort. If kids had their way, half of them would eat pizza and play video games all day. There's going to be friction, period. There will be moments that require discipline and (less preferable) even punishment. I've got two simple theories to guide me as I bumble my way through this process.

1. Don't hit 'em. 
   
2. The more time I spend with them, the more likely it is that I'll be able to give them positive discipline and not have to use punishment. 
   

When I think about going back into daddylabyrinth and revising it as my kids grow older, this is one of the pages I imagine coming back to. Turning into its own path. Because the conversation doesn't end here, does it? It can't end with a blank, untested theory.