We humans like to think of ourselves as outgrowing things. Old likes, old friends, old selves. But the tree never forgets the sapling because it contains the sapling. 

If you met me, you'd probably think I'm a pretty mellow guy. But underneath the surface, fear rules the roost. At my core, I'm a kid who's scared that his father is going to get angry at him and yell at him. That kid has grown into a man, but every day I'm reminded that the man hasn't abandoned the child; instead, he has wrapped himself around the child. 

I spent too much of my childhood paralyzed in fight-or-flight mode. I sure in hell couldn't fight my father, and if I fled, what else would I have? So when he got pissed off and I smelled his violence in the air—whether physical or emotional—I wanted to run away, but couldn't. 

That creates a specific set of electrical storms in the self, and those are the storms I've had in me my whole life. They're shaped who I am in ways I can't forget and never want to pass on. 

1. TRAUMATIQUE
2. HE NEVER (HAD TO) HIT ME
3. RELIVING THE SWEAR WORDS MOMENT
4. 'CAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF DAD I AM
5. AWAY FROM IT ALL