Given the Wingate family history of substance abuse, I am terrified that my kids will fall into drugs. That's one reason I had to get out of Colorado, which has been on the road to legalizing pot for ages and finally fell into that ditch shortly after we left. 

Obviously you can't run away from alcohol and drugs, because they're everywhere physically and everywhere in our culture. But you don't have to throw yourself into temptation, you know? I hear people say that "Oh well, kids are just gonna try booze and pot, so you might as well let them do it safely." To which I say... well, nothing, because I'm speechless when I hear things like that. Not every kid tries drugs. To throw in the towel on that battle before the starting whistle even blows is cowardice and bullshit parenting. 

I can't guarantee that my kids won't "experiment," or even fall headlong into addiction. But I can guarantee that I won't stand by and "let them discover things on their own." Because they've got some bad genes––their mom has similar problems in her family, too. I won't share that particular story because it isn't mine to tell, but if the family member in question ever wants a page or path in this labyrinth, then I would welcome that. Maybe it would help the kids understand that the best way to deal with a substance abuse problem is to never develop one in the first place. 

In the meantime, I'm preparing a speech with some pictures. My brother Mike before and after the drugs, and this un-named family member of Jen's before and after the drugs. 

"See?" I'll tell the kids. "See what happens?" 

If I stand by and "let them discover things on their own," I'll feel like I've lost the battle. They'll get sucked into the family problem and have to swim through all the shit I swam through just to have a somewhat normal life in which they kinda came close to meeting their potential, but never really did. 

They don't have to have that life at all. If they don't screw around with the family addiction problem, it'll be like running the race without a ball and chain. It's possible––I did it, after all––but why do it if you don't have to? Why choose it at all, if you know the pain in ass it will bring?